To my potential lovers 

A kind, understanding, and friendly reminder: it’s cool if you are not willing to get screened. I understand as I keep my identity pretty hidden myself. I have been in some weird situations myself before. If you feel like some other provider has burned you with the deposit, and you are unwilling to send me one, it is also cool. I appreciate your concern and safety, and well-being.

I have seen some unfair things happening to people that I see, and I booked a handful of fun myself, having mixed experiences, and it’s ok to be not willing to do that. There is work ethic and integrity in every single area of our lives. I hold myself responsible for mine every time, and I only cancel when something important happens, like school stepping in or when I got 2-degree burns on my thighs a year ago. I always explain the situation and follow up. I always offer to send a deposit back when that happens or reschedule, to your convenience. I sometimes also offer something extra, like knocking down 100 $ off the appreciation, because I appreciate people who trust me. It is business and it is intimacy, cannot afford to screw with either. Trust is something that I find utterly valuable, and it makes everything shine truly. 

However, it is not ok to read through my entire info, go through my profile on Twitter, read my blogs and what I got to say on my website, and engage me in a conversation just to let me know that you are not willing to help me out with my safety and security, exchanging 5-10 emails or more. Not fair to either of us.  

If you are trying to convince me to lift my inquiries, I would advise you to walk away and find someone else. It will be a win-win because neither of us must be uncomfortable that way. 

I am not starving, I am really picky actually, as my regular job pays my bills, and I will not lift my safety requirements, although I feel emphatic for the cause. I will not make an extra effort to accomodate the lack of respect to my boundaries. And people who choose to see me over the years, and over my relocation, understand that and support me. 

I genuinely hope you will never encounter the discomfort of being scammed or burned or your identity being misused because no human being should ever encounter that. 

Telling me that you also like tennis or molecular biology won’t have me drop my safety inquiries because we are not at a conference, playing chess at my club, or mingling over the tennis ladder at my tennis club.

Tell me all that information that sheds light on your personality and makes me want to see you. I want to hear it. Then respect my boundaries, and we will be on the best journey together.

I put a lot of effort into representing myself accurately and fully online, so I would appreciate your acknowledgment! 

 Thank you and kisses, my potential lover

PS I would delete any sensitive information about you from everywhere when we are settled, and treat your safety as my own. And make no mistake, I’m super anal with my own safety. And if you are around I would even give an unsolicited advice on how to keep your identity safe, and I have been thanked for that many times.